April 2026 Challenge – Cloughie

[cloughie]

I’ve been working on this song for a while and the hook is the solo part I repeat in a few spots.

This where it’s at today. Happy for any suggestions to improve it. It’s a Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald type of song to me and commemorates the worst single loss of life by the New Zealand Navy in which is served for 21 years. I found Howard Cooper’s name on one of the plaques that line the road to my village and learnt his story.

We will remember them.

Be kind to yourself (especially when you're trying to play this instrument!)
Brian Clough

“Got a lotta sinful ideas but they seem kinda sensible” Jim Casy the ex-preacher in The Grapes Of Wrath

[AndréM]

Awesome story Cloughie.
Very much like the Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot.
A tragic event.

AndréM

AndréM

[Michael Krailo]

That is great playing, but very depressing lyrics and vibe as it is. So my only suggestion is to figure out a way to tone down that level of depression by adding some sort of contrasting sound to lift the spirit of it. It would probably take a chorus of backup singers and other instrumentation like drums, and some well place sounds of an explosion of sorts. Not necessarily a real explosion but one simulated with electric guitar or other creative means.

Maybe a change in tempo that starts off slower and then speeds up giving it a more driving feel.

Go slow and practice correct technique, and your abilities will dramatically improve.

[Jonathan Amos]

This is exceptional and should be broadcast across your country! This demo says it all, the lyrics stand alone as poetry and you have a great voice that adds to the sadness. Very moving.

Jonathan Amos, Matsuyama, Japan

[Mark T]

A very moving song, Cloughie – your single acoustic axe and singing fit beautifully, like a personal lament! If you’re going to add anything at all, I would keep it simple – no overproduction – maybe just another acoustic, playing a gentle melody as a break, but nothing more (just my opinion). – Mark 👍🎶😎

[Carpa]

You tell a story on your guitar and that is art 👌

[Alan L]

Cool song, hauntingly beautiful

[Manfred M]

That’s a really impressive song, Cloughie—especially the way you perform it. Very moving!

Take the chance to meet your AM friends on Zoom
The next Meetup will be July
There will be a detailed announcement here in the forum
I look forward to meet you.
Manfred

[JoeD1]

Very cool song and hook Cloughie. What a story you tell! What was it you said at the end?

Joe

The sight of a touch, or the scent of a sound,
Or the strength of an Oak with roots deep in the ground.
--Graeme Edge

[AndréM]

Hi again Cloughie.
Had to comeback after reading the comments.
I my opinion, it doesn’t need anything else, I could feel the emotion and the pain.
I love the way you did it, and you are an excellent singer.
I am just curious what your words at the end meant.
Beautiful performance.

AndréM

AndréM

[cloughie]

Ka maumahara tonu tātou ki a rātou.
Ka maumahara tonu tātou ki a rātou.

The last two lines of the ANZAC Ode. Means We will remember them.

Be kind to yourself (especially when you're trying to play this instrument!)
Brian Clough

“Got a lotta sinful ideas but they seem kinda sensible” Jim Casy the ex-preacher in The Grapes Of Wrath

[AndréM]

Yes my feeling exactly.
Felt the same when I first heard The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot.

AndréM

[sunjamr]

Great idea, great composition Brian! Well played, well sung.

Sunjamr Steve

[John H]

Cloughie
Captivating story, powerful lyrics and your hook/solo works. It’s catchy, memorable and eventful… you are telling a powerful story. It will be interesting to see how this evolves over time.

John

[Dieter]

Great performance.

Dieter

[Raffaele S]

Everything is beautiful…..bravo, the singing part is also excellent

[snakechisler]

Thanks for sharing

[Michael L]

This was really excellent Cloughie. Deep feeling in your song and singing. The hook is clear and invokes the feeling of the piece. Great work.

[JoLa]

Brian…. this made me cry the moment you mentioned he “was just 21” …. 😢😢😢 💔💔💔

This was such a beautiful tribute by you, just the way you delivered that with your deep narrative voice (reminded me of Mark Knopfler’s and Leonard Cohen’s style) should be how this song stays. Just you and the guitar. I feel like that setup projects the message very powerfully. Hope you can publish it or play it in public during some commemorative event.

🎸JoLa

[Pap]

Being a former navy man, I really appreciate what you did here Cloughie. It was very moving and I feel like it tells the story well. Glad you defined the statement you made at the end (in the comments). I think that you should polish this up and get some exposure on local radio and/or with you current navy reps/leadership. Howard Cooper is blessed to have you tell his story. Cheers mate! Pap

[Author]

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