Home › Forums › Forum Help And Other Tutorials › New here. Com’n at ya from Sunset Beach NC.
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December 5, 2022 at 11:42 am #327802
I am absolutely loving AM! I have learned SO much in just the few weeks I have been a member. I do have a quick question. How did you all get over your fear of playing in front of others? I have been “learning” to play my guitar for about 10 years, off and on. I can play chords, strum songs, some finger style…. And when I’m by myself, I sound ok. But the second I start to record myself or play in front of anyone, it’s like I’ve never touched a guitar before. HELP!!! I really want to play in front of family and friends…. Would love to hear your ideas on how I can get over this fear. Thank you for your input on this.
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December 5, 2022 at 11:51 am #327805
Red syndrome and stage freight, most of this have this.
Just keep doing over it and over again. Also don’t try to be perfect.
Accept that you are going to make mistakes, but just play through them don’t stop. I’ve hit a wrong note but played it a couple more times to let them I did it on purpose.
Try to relax and don’t care so much.Ken F
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December 5, 2022 at 11:52 am #327806
I meant Red Light Syndrome on a red light on a recording camera.
Ken F
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December 5, 2022 at 2:10 pm #327859
Hi Toby,
Oh, I do have that same problem! I can jam and play even in a group as long as nobody is paying attention to me and they’re all talking to each other or doing something. The moment it goes quiet or they actually turn their heads and start to listen, I fumble and fall all over the place, haha!
But – I have been recording videos of my playing for the last 6 years now (for the monthly site member challenges) and so I learned a few “tricks” to make this less stressful for me:
1. Can I really play it? The best test to check if I know the piece really well is to record myself playing, just audio at this stage. That will pinpoint all my weak spots, the most important being: can I keep up with the metronome or Brian’s recording? If I can do that over and over (at slower tempo, usually) then I’m almost there. And yes, always practice with a metronome if it’s a standalone piece and at a slower tempo.
So the message here is: if you think you know how to play something well, record it and then find out if that’s true 😉2. Keep recording! I record my playing often, even just on my iPhone and just for my own critique. With time, it becomes the norm and I don’t think about the red light that much anymore (still working on it)
3. Jam with others! As shy as I am, I also started meeting with other people, initially strangers to me, to jam. Of course, everyone is better than me but not at everything and most people are easy going and just want to have fun, all level players are welcome. The more I relax around them, the more I forget the self-conscious me, and then the music happens 🙂
4. Deadlines are great motivation to practice more. Consider joining the monthly site member challenges here on the site. We’re all in the same boat, love to see each others’ playing and give positive reinforcement. All levels are welcome, be sure to check them out here and join us!
5. And yeah, what Ken said, don’t try to be perfect. Remember that “Done is better than Perfect” and perfect is subjective anyway. Have fun 🙂
Well, I hope some of it helps and looking forward to seeing your playing here on the site!
🎸JoLa
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December 5, 2022 at 2:21 pm #327863
Hi Toby, welcome to AM! Yes, what Jola said. That’s been my approach too, though I haven’t found others to play with regularly. I also find that if I can put my focus on the music and the tone and feeling I’m trying to produce instead of the camera or the people watching, it’s easier. Of course, it’s not always easy to maintain that focus. As the saying goes, the second strongest fear is death. The first is public speaking/performance.
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December 6, 2022 at 3:43 pm #328059
Hahaha Toby! Who said we got over our fear of playing in front of others? When we’re sitting in our practice rooms happily playing away, we have no stress at all. Hit that red Record button, and suddenly we feel like we’re on stage with 50,000 people watching our every move. It’s common for some of us to do quite a few takes before we finally get one that meets our minimum standards. For the first couple of years after I joined AM, by the time I was on Take 9 or so, I was so fatigued that I no longer noticed the fear, and I was thinking I just want to hurry up and get it finished.
As for mistakes, Brian has said many times that as long as you keep a steady beat going, most people won’t notice if you hit a bad note. I have found that to be true.
Have you posted some of your playing yet? Just do a “warts and all” recording sometime and you will get lots of constructive comments. It’s not a contest…..
Sunjamr Steve
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December 6, 2022 at 5:57 pm #328075
Thank you all for your kind and most helpful comments. I will take them all! I just need to “do it”. I am realizing each day that I have joined this great site that its a “friendly” group! And I am so excited to continue my journey.
Thank you again!! -
December 10, 2022 at 3:17 pm #328301
I’m new here as well and sort of have the same issue. I also have an additional problem that can be crippling at times due to a severe shaky hand problem. It only happens when I have to clamp down on something (like a guitar neck) and gets really bad when I get nervous. I’m way better at drums than guitar but had to put them in the closet due to cramps and other fatigue related issues. Now it’s acoustic guitar mostly.
So the standard answer is to face our fears, which is true to an extent. I think, if you are capable of playing a complete song and it is not too technically difficult, that should ease some of the stress involved. Just pick something simple and then all you need to do is concentrate on rhythm and making the chords and notes ring true. A simple song played well is better than a difficult song played poorly.
The truth is, there is no easy answer to this. We can either play by our self and be comfortable, or get out and play something simple and master that simple song first. Then build on that in the future.
I usually play things in my practice room and only my wife hears it. Of course she’s bored of it so I’m starting to buckle down and get some more skills up so I can at least turn her head once in a while.
I need to learn some worship songs and get in with some local churches and just start getting some playing time. There is always nursing homes to play for folks who are stuck in there with little to do to keep occupied. I noticed there are other guitar players that come in to nursing homes and you could just go there to watch them play and then see if you talk to them afterwards about doing a gig together or at least practice a few tunes together and see how it goes.
BTW, I like the campfire guitar stuff. I’m trying to put together a few simple songs that can be executed in that setting. My boss likes to have little get togethers and during this time of the year the fire gets started as soon as the sun goes down.
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